Stop the Presses: “Spencer (3 1/2) Was the World’s Easiest Potty Trained Kid!” The community at large rejoices as the last box of diapers is happily donated to the toddler down the street. The Larsen Household is now officially diaper-free.
Personals: “One adorable black lab/collie mix puppy available at the pound.” Oh wait, no she’s not, because we took her home! All are immediately smitten with charms of said puppy… even mom, who had to clean up her puppy poop. Bella grew really fast, but she’s a good doggie!
Sports: “Footworks Young Adult Clogging team comes home with three first place wins from Western Nationals!”
“Team Bella-n-Kids Clock New Speed Records On Kitchen/Front Room Speedway”
Theater Review: “Madison High School’s Fall Musical of ‘Singing in the Rain’ (Choreography by Gary Larsen) is Smashing Success!”
Health and Beauty: “Larsens Join the Nebulizer Owner’s Club as Pneumonia Sweeps through the Family. Enrollment in the Albuterol Flavor of the Month Plan is a Bonus.”
“Tylenol with Codeine Ruled an Effective Pain Reliever When Margaret Larsen Broke Both Wrists in One Scooter Accident”
“How to Give Dogs Pain Pills for Broken Legs: A Primer”
Weekend: “2010 Critic’s Choice Awards go to Tepanyaki Restaurants, Mountain Dew Apple Dumplings, Donckel’s Belgian Truffles, Horseback Riding, Zumba, The Grand del Mar, Bye Bye Birdie, The Princess Bride, Three Amigos, Legos, The Hunger Games and The Fablehaven Series”
Travel Section: “SE Idaho Prime Destination for Outdoor Recreation”: bridge jumping, waterfall tours, hiking, and river and pond swimming win top accolades. Contact the editor to book your reservation at the Casa del Larsen as your gateway to Yellowstone, Jackson Hole and the infamous (that’s “more than famous”) St. Anthony sand dunes!
Want Ads: one tired mom desires in-house assistant to aid with dishwashing, cooking, cleaning, laundry, bum wiping, carpools, midnight sheet changings, doing screaming daughters’ hair, etc. Payment will be in meatballs, with signing bonus of caramel popcorn, depending on experience.
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