I Believe in Magic

I love movies that change my life for the better. I've always loved the Peter Pan movies, so called in my head because of their ability to recreate the magic and wonder of childhood, or really, the power of faith and love. The Little Princess, Hook, Nanny McPhee, The Secret Garden (I love the musical version passionately), Enchanted, Pollyanna, Scrooge (the musical, with Albert Finney), Finding Neverland... Some are cheesy, some definitely have their weak moments, but overall they inspire me with the belief that hope, goodness and purity do exist out there somewhere. Yes I know they're just movies, but somebody out there had to believe in them enough to make them. That's the magic right there.

Recently I had an epiphanous moment. ("epiphanous"? Is that a word?) In Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, Mr. Magorium's assistant Molly Mahoney (played by Natalie Portman) is frustrated and "stuck." As a youth she was an award winning pianist with a brilliant future... but she had somehow failed to make that future materialize. She had forgotten to believe in her own magic. Luckily, she worked for the far sighted and quirky Mr. Magorium (could have done without the accent), who saw all of Mahoney's internal sparkle, though she did not. In the end, he helped her discover that her real magic, her real purpose, was not necessarily as a concert pianist or composer. Her magic lay her ability to bring the toy store to life, as he did, and in the end she learned to channel her inner powers to resurrect color and vibrancy and whimsy after Mr. Magorium died.

So here is my epiphany. Besides all the great one-liners, amusing and metaphorical toy store moments, the charming relationship between Eric and The Mutant (the accountant), and the insights on death ("it's an opportunity for another great story to begin"), I realized that I, like Mahoney, had somewhat skewed vision of what my life was "supposed" to hold. I, like her, had a brilliant, overachieving adolescence and a highly successful college and work experience. Then, children came and all of the professional and educational accolades stopped as my life took upon itself the quieter, much more challenging character of parenthood.

I was not one of those mothers who automatically slipped into stay-at-home mode with ease and delight, though my deep love for each of my children gets me through a lot of the fatigue, constant emotional wear, and physical labor. Motherhood is by far the hardest job I have ever had, and by far the least validating. I guess I am a pleaser - I thrived for so many years on the gratification of winning top grades and scholarships, the admiration of my professors and bosses, and doing difficult things well. I didn't know, and I'm just discovering, how to transfer that ability to do difficult things (besides just physically getting it all done), to motherhood.

I need to remember that though I'm not exactly getting report cards from heaven, I'm still being "graded" in my most important job of all, and I need to rise more to the occasion. My children need a mother who does more than just feed and clothe them - I need to continuously help them see, explore and create their own miracles, big and small. And to use my magic, because it is there, to help me and my family create a masterpiece out of this lovely, crazy, terrible, confusing, glorious life, rather than just getting through it day by day.

I wish it were as easy, or as immediate, as Mahoney's ability to use her faith and magic fingers to manage that magical toy store (and I sometimes really wish I got her nights off!). It is an ongoing process. I do have great moments of creativity and energy, as this blog sometimes documents, but I know I can do better. I'm rededicated to it now. Thank you to the insightful believers who had the courage to make this movie and help those of us who needed to find our "sparkle."

This is one of those movies that if you "get" it, you love it, but if you don't, all you can see are the negatives and you walk away confused, irritated or bored. It's not something that one can explain to another - you have to have the key to that secret kingdom already, or at least an open heart to want to find it. Kind of like reading the book The Little Prince, or thrilling to the first crocus buds in spring, or understanding why Anne Shirley needed a bosom friend - it's magic for you or it's not.

I'm so grateful for the magic.

Del Mar Sans Kids

Well, we did it; for the first time in seven years, Gary and I went on a vacation without the kids. No midnight wakings, no bum wiping, no chicken nuggets and mac n cheese, no housekeeping of any kind... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. And where better to do it than Del Mar? THANK YOU Mom and Dad for giving up one of your weeks for us - it was paradise! And thank you Christy and Spencer Knight for coming with us - I always knew it would be fun to travel together! Let's start planning the next one! Thailand 2015?

Here's our villa at the Grand Del Mar - 5300 SF of unparalleled and unabashed luxury. We took advantage of staying in the master suite this time - the exercise room and office came in handy! As did the private balcony with fireplace.

This pic is a montage representing some of the hightlights of our very low key weekend: yummy cheese and boulangerie bread; fresh fruit on the terrace overlooking the pool in the morning; a great new book (School of Essential Ingredients) and movie (Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium), games (Ticket to Ride - Christy slaughtered both times!), ambiance... I forgot to throw my temple recommend on there, and tennis and golf balls or some sun screen, but you get the picture...

Afternoon gelato in the Gallery.

San Diego temple (we were witness couple!) and my best Roys dining experience EVER - beef wontons with spicy sauce, the perfect macadamia nut crusted mahi mahi with roasted potatoes and asparagus, and both the chocolate souffle and pineapple upside down cake for dessert. I could have cried it was so good. As it was I liked my plate clean. Well, almost. Gary actually did though, it was that good!

Other memorable moments: the Frustrated Cowboy (a store in del Mar that put us in hysterics just because of its name); lunch by the pool; pseudomedijazz; monster tennis; the MASSAGE!; Dan In Real Life; Thai wife beater drippings soup (our only bad food experience); crepes and pastries at Champagne bistro; and not having to find a babysitter or rush home for bedtime the entire time! yahoo!

And thank you so much to Stephanie and Trevin Ricks for watching our kids! You are our heroes - we owe you one! or ten! and some caramel cookie bars on top! It was lovely to come home refreshed and energized to our sweet kids. Thanks for the welcome home poster!

St. Paddy's Day

So we were down at Gary's parents' house last weekend and they were saying that they wished they could remember how they celebrated the holidays with their kids when they were young. To avoid that fate, and to remind my dear offspring of the good times we have together, and to prove to myself that sometimes I DO get it right, here's how we celebrated St. Patrick's Day 2010:

1. The night before I stayed up late making crepes with green food coloring for a nice, easy, verdant breakfast the next day. Then I decked the house with large, sparkly dollar store paper shamrocks to surprise them when they woke up.

2. Maggie's lunch box contained green gatorade, green M&Ms and a note on a green shamrock telling her how much I love her and wish her the top o' the morning. If I was a really cool mom I would have cut her peanut butter sandwich into the shape of a shamrock, but, I just didn't get there. And that's okay!

3. Soph and Spence played with green play dough while having a green smoothie as a mid-morning snack.

4. We invited friends over for a green taffy pull... only I accidently undercooked the taffy and it turned into a green goo fest instead! The good-natured guests didn't seem to mind though, as everyone just grabbed fists of the thick sugary syrup and shoved it into their mouths. I'm still finding traces of it on my tablecloth and on the floor... and behind Spencer's ears...

5. At dinner we went around the table and talked about the things we are lucky to have in our lives. We did drink green gatorade for the bevy but we did not have corned beef and cabbage for dinner, although my family always did growing up and I like the dish myself. I just didn't think I could push the non-adventurous natives' appetites that far, so we had spinach couscous and parmsan chicken instead. Someday...

Tidbits

Just a few snapshots of life in the Larsen household:


This is how we survive and thrive on Saturday mornings. The kids get to watch a movie while Gary and I sleep in, and this chart (which I post the night before on the fridge) lets them know exactly what their chores are. Each has a box so they get checked off as they are done, and they all have to be completed by noon to earn participation in the afternoon's fun activity. Works like a CHARM!

Spencer was running a fever this morning, so while I made food for a friend's birthday party, I let him and Sophie sit on their bean bags and watch a movie. This is how you really know your kid's sick:

Spencer doesn't take naps any more, so when he fell asleep this morning at 10:30 AM, I knew I was in for it. Wish me luck tonight - he's got the barky cough as well. Rats!

Good morning goats: this is the sight I saw on our back patio when I woke up this morning. The neighbor's goats busted out and joined us for a cuppa before returning to their abode. Only in the country...I'm just really glad they didn't poop before they left! As it is, my cats are leaving me "offerings" on the back doorstep (various mouse parts) and that's plenty gross. At least they're ridding us of vermin and earning their keep!

Sophie and Spencer got to go to the fire station on a field trip with Sophie's preschool - she is always so obedient and attentive, a great little student! And a potential fire fighter as well! :-)

QOTD

"Perhaps you and I have lived with this miracle too long to be properly appreciative. Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it have never known it again. Knowing this, it is hard to explain those who even today would question the people's capacity for self-rule. Will they answer this: if no one among us is capable of governing himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?"
- Ronald Reagan

Spencer's Prayers

When Spencer starts his prayers, it often sounds like he's saying "dear Harry Potter" instead of "dear Heavenly Father." I think we need to work on his enunciation, unless he really is praying for a Nimbus 2010. Which he might be. He can forget the Firebolt though because it ain't gonna happen - we don't have that kind of gold...

Why I Love Winter

10. I don't have to shave regularly!

9. Staying inside had been key to potty training Spencer. Since we rarely willingly go anywhere in this weather (thank goodness we're all homebodies!) he's been running around the house naked and amazingly, that's done the trick! Well, that, and the Halloween candy I give him after every successful attempt...is it really this easy? I think we all find comfort in routine; there's plenty of time in the summer to break all schedules and try new things!

8. Staying home also makes me want to organize, so I get all my closets and pantries cleaned out! Very satisfying.

7. Waking up to the miracle of a new snow glittering across the fields. Occasionally our back balcony "grows" snow crystals overnight (because it's so bloody cold here) and the effect is dazzling!

6. Snow days! I love keeping my little sweeties home; we have impromptu parties with the neighborhood kids and make crepes or Lion House salt water taffy.

5. Experimenting with my fav brands and flavors of hot chocolate, yogi teas and creamers

4. Discovering fun new hobbies like ice skating and snow cave making with the kids

3. Sledding at Rigby lake

2. Craving yummy, stick-to-you-ribs comfort food like turkey dinners, apple crisps, baked potato soup, cheeses and breads, and anything with bacon and bleu cheese.

1. Playing in the snow with the kids, and watching them discover what I once knew and then forgot - that a mountain of snow is a world of possibilities.

So, in fairness, here is what I don't like about winter:

4. Driving in the snow. Nuff said.

3.Being cold. :-) I microwave these rice-filled bag thingies, like portable hot pads, which I take around the house and to bed to get my feet warm enough so I can fall asleep. I don't mind getting bundled up, but I don't like it when I can't get warm.

2.Gary's inevitable, 2-month period of constant illness. What is with that, anyway??? In spite of all our best efforts, it always hits like a brick wall. And doesn't go away for weeks.

1. The fact that it takes 45 minutes to get all the kids snow stuff on every time they want to go outside. And what happens to all those gloves we had? The snow monster must eat them because darned if I know where they went! Maybe it was Talullah...